Description: Wish I could strip you from my mind m4w You are beautiful and that's no secret but it was your eyes that drew me in. You're the first person I've felt stare directly into my soul, making me feel exposed. I never attempted to hide anything from you because I felt incapable of doing so.
I was just me. Your mind is what kept me around. Completely self conscience I would debate with you on topics I knew nothing about to demonstrate humility. To show you that I can admit when I'm wrong. I've been wrong about a countless many things but I am not wrong about this.
I love you and I can never say it. I fear that I have pushed you away and will have to spend the rest if my life knowing that I let you slip through my grasp.
I have to leave soon. Back "over there". It's not true our work is done in the Middle East, and I already have my orders. I wish I could be honest and tell you what I really do, but this has been my only success with keeping a secret from you.
It's not imminent danger or even death that frightens me as it did my first few tours, it's something else now. Knowing that when I leave, I'll never see you again, even if its not a casket I come home in. You'll have moved on, probably married by then, have started a family, a life that no longer includes me. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic in love with the idea of us, but these are the facts and they're undeniable.
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Should I divorce and stay single? Should I tell my current wife? Should I tell all my past wives? Seattle was rad, lots of cool people, lots of culture, but WAY too expensive for an 18 year old just starting out.
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