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On my first university study trip to a Spanish-speaking landone of my American peers let slip that her real goal was not to study at all, but rather to find romance and, heck, maybe stay in Santiago forever and ever in the arms of some new Chilean lover. Download: This blog post is available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. This is a huge pet peeve of my Spanish-speaking amigas friends who are on such apps.


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This weekend marks the start of "Hispanic Heritage Month," a day period of observance that pays tribute to America's Latino community and their contributions to this country. In celebration, here are 40 of the most influential and iconic Latino entertainers of all time.

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I am married, a conservative dresser, frankly not very good-looking at all but I do have blond hair, so maybe that counts for something on a guy's internal whore-o-meterbut I speak karate-choppin'-good Spanish. In fact, that's my job: I interpret for Spanish speakers when they go to the doctor's office.

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So then why, when I interpret for a Mexican man, does he seem culturally required at some point to say something gross to me? He had a series of doctor's appointments wherein he got poked and prodded, and his sexual dysfunction was discussed ad infinitum with me as the intermediary I think this might have something to do with it.

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As we were waiting outside the last doctor's office, he blushed and whispered to me, "I wanna ask you a question, but I'm embarrassed. Table dancing. Is it possible that he has lived in this country for seven years and really thinks that we are all secretly strippers who like to dance on tables?

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I understood this bullshit when I lived in Latin America, since Bikini Car Wash -esque stuff plays constantly on broadcast TV, but the man has been in this country for seven years. How can he think something so asinine at this point? What, pray tell, am I missing here? Dear Gabacha: Wait — so not all white women are strippers? Wow, you learn new cosas every day!

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Anyhoo, in this case, the guy was obviously trying to reassert his manhood in front of a woman, so I wouldn't read too much about Mexicans through him. But you're right about hombres viewing gabachas as perpetual putas one martini away from doing a DP. It's easy to blame Mexican machismo, but the real issue is exoticism: Gabachas are the Other, and thus easily sexualized. But as a result, gabachos have sexualized Mexican women ever since — and if you don't believe me, go to any fraternity's Cinco de Drinko bash.

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Ask a Mexican. Gustavo Arellano October 30, am.

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